Saturday, December 7, 2013

another Christmas, still no baby

It's supposed to be the season to be Merry and Jolly but it's another year that i feel i'm not quite there yet. All the advertisements are already rolling the perfect families with cute kids around dinner tables, kids opening christmas presents, grandparents reading cards from their grandkids, you know the drill.

Facing another Christmas without the ONE thing you want most is a dreary probability when you are going through infertility. We have been lucky so far that not a lot of people probe us about our future plans of expanding our family, be it because they already know our story or maybe we don't give out a vibe that says "please i want you to be nosy about my personal life", whatever the reason i feel we are blessed to not have to explain ourselves over and over.

I learned over the years not to look at what other people do for Christmas and have more realistic plans as to what our holidays will be like. I know a lot of people don't have those picture perfect Christmases that are depicted on TV shows, i'm sure there are a lot of families who spend Christmas arguing about going to his or her parents house, stress about not being able to afford everything they want to get their kids for the holidays, husbands who don't even bother spending time with family and spend all day drinking, kids who spend majority of their times on their iPads and iPhones, and families who don't even talk to each other...  i know that just because you have kids it doesn't mean you are having a jolly good time.

We usually don't maintain a specific tradition of any sorts, if we feel like being with family we will make the trip or we will invite them over, some years we spend it with friends and some years it's the two of us having a quite dinner and enjoying each other's company.

Something i learned from my Hannah group is to think of this phase of our lives as a "season" that we are passing through. I don't know if this season will end for us with a bundle at the end of it, no one knows. We can all hope and pray but in life there are no guarantees.  I keep telling myself "some days you will feel like giving up. Don't" 

1 comment:

  1. I understand exactly how you feel. We were married for 12 years before we were blessed with Wyatt. Holidays were always the most difficult days. I'm always here if you want to chat.
    Love you