Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Feeling Forgotten - Father's Day

In all honesty before being married i never gave Father's Day any thought. My own father wasn't around when we were growing up so our family normal was mom, her extended family and us kids; for me this worked just fine. I don't feel like i missed out on anything. I was so used to not having a Father figure that, believe it or not, as a kid when i used to dream of having babies my dream was i would get married, have a baby, my husband would die and i would get to name the baby whatever i wanted... talk about messed up.

Then i met my hubby, he's not a simple guy to say the least but isn't that how every woman feels about her other half? He's  a sweetheart, most of the times. Difficult, occasionally. Thoughtful and Caring, yes and yes. But as all men he's plagued with the "i want to fix it" curse and if he can't fix it there's no need to talk about it. Going through infertility has been hard on both of us and i don't want to minimize his feelings by assuming i know how he feels so i won't. We've talked about feelings a handful of times and the end was explosive.

I just want to say i've noticed. Even though he doesn't talk about his feelings i've seen him being a goof at the grocery store trying to make a baby in the line in front of us smile. I've noticed how kids just smile at him and wave bye bye even though he's not the type of person that goes ga ga over babies. Kids listen to him. He's so patient with young ones it makes me jealous.

Dear Husband, coming up on Father's day, (i know for him it will be just another day, at least this year it's not on his birthday), i just want to say i can't wait for the day that you will be a dad, i know you will be a great one.

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