Sunday, December 2, 2012

All I want for Christmas is "you"

The holidays are upon us, with that comes the fun of shopping, cooking, hanging out with friends and family and trying not to make any major decisions influenced by all the holidaying brouhaha going on around us. We will be quite busy with family visiting starting next week so we did all our major clean ups, all my personal craft projects are on hold till after the holidays and we are prepared for company. Christmas decorations are up, inside and out, all is pretty and sparkly.

Of course the holidays (minus a baby) are not going to be as fun as i was hoping but at least I'm really glad that all our families and friends are aware of our baby struggles so we won't be asked the stupid questions about when we plan on having kids. Hubby was asking me what i wanted for Christmas, i replied that it doesn't matter cause I can't get what I really want so he can get me whatever and I will be happy. The thing is I AM happy. When hubby and I are spending our quiet time together watching movies, going out to dinners, having conversations all seems well, until we are walking around somewhere and the gates of Babyville open up and i notice that we are surrounded by hundreds of baby strollers, in these moments I just want to be somewhere else, on an island where babies are not allowed so I don't get reminded constantly of what we are missing. Having family around this Christmas is a welcomed distraction, it's nice to focus on other people's needs for a while instead of our own. The baby wanting is not going to just disappear and we don't want it to, we just need a breather.

I'm not sure if I previously mentioned this but hubby and I are working on getting healthier inside out, hubby is doing acupuncture and taking herbs and has committed to doing so for the next 5 months. He sees the acupuncturist once a week and takes the herbs daily. I'm also taking Chinese herbs and a tonic to improve my reproductive system. I haven't noticed much change on my end but I guess it's a little too early to tell.

Also lately I've been feeling the need to get some distance from all the baby talks within my online community and the heartache that comes with it, my solution was to purge most of the Facebook groups I was part of with the exception of 1 group. I know many of my online friends are probably wondering what happened but they all understand that sometimes all we need is a break to set us right, in the heart and in the mind.

I plan to take everything one day at a time, I have no expectations, just praying for good vibes.

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