Thursday, October 4, 2012

Just Another Day

I love my job. I love the people i work with... well most people i work with. I was never one to want a career. I'm one of the believers in the saying ""work to live, don't live to work". I always wanted to have a job that does not interfere with my personal life so working in different types of administrative positions was a very good fit for me. I like to go home and enjoy my weekend without having to think of work. Recently i have been unable to do just that because a couple of new additions to our crew is making my life miserable. I cannot believe how incompetent people can truly be. You may be surprised that i'm willing to tolerate incompetence however  i can't handle people with  bad attitude and we seem to have a lot of that lately. Yesterday i got to a breaking point and i actually had a meltdown at work. Usually i keep my thoughts to myself, yesterday i lost my filters and said out loud what was going through my head... it was overwhelming.

My boss is trying to explain a project to me and in my head i'm going over all the things that i have to do (doing my and other people's work). I kept thinking "i don't want to do this", "i can't do this", "i should go grab my purse and go to lunch"... my hands went all cold and numb, i see myself raising my hands up in the air, tell my boss "i'm sorry i just can't do this right now" walk away, sit at my desk and start crying.

The tears were a relief. My boss was understanding, she took me to another office to talk. She is working on shuffling things around so we are not so overwhelmed with work, which is nice.

I always thought that i am strong, that i can handle just about anything, that i'm in control of my feelings but this episode proved me so wrong. It reminded me how important it is to take breaks when we need them, to get ourselves out of situations that we may think are going to have bad outcomes and most importantly to speak up when we believe we are reaching our breaking point.

Here's to Mental Holidays and Good Health! 

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