My boss is trying to explain a project to me and in my head i'm going over all the things that i have to do (doing my and other people's work). I kept thinking "i don't want to do this", "i can't do this", "i should go grab my purse and go to lunch"... my hands went all cold and numb, i see myself raising my hands up in the air, tell my boss "i'm sorry i just can't do this right now" walk away, sit at my desk and start crying.
The tears were a relief. My boss was understanding, she took me to another office to talk. She is working on shuffling things around so we are not so overwhelmed with work, which is nice.
I always thought that i am strong, that i can handle just about anything, that i'm in control of my feelings but this episode proved me so wrong. It reminded me how important it is to take breaks when we need them, to get ourselves out of situations that we may think are going to have bad outcomes and most importantly to speak up when we believe we are reaching our breaking point.
Here's to Mental Holidays and Good Health!