Sunday, July 29, 2012

Super Mom/Woman Syndrome

Reading about modern history a little bit and keeping up with some online bloggers i can't help but think we are facing another super mom/woman era. I'm not sure how these things start but there's no denying we are in the middle of it. Looking back at TV shows, movies, ads and magazines from years ago the woman/mom was portrayed as the "do it all" person. She was there for her husband always nicely dressed and manicured, dinner on the table every night (doesn't matter if it was from scratch or not), helps kids with homework, volunteers in the community, attends all school functions (probably organizing a bunch of them as well) etc... the list goes on and on and i'm sure we all know it by heart.
Nowadays super moms/women are a little more hard core; It's as if the 2012 Natalie woke up one day and said to 1960s Betty "you know what? i will take your home cooked meal and raise you a home cooked meal with vegetables i grew in my own garden".

I don't know how it came to be but today you better know how to grow your own vegetables and cook them into a perfectly nice looking meals that you photograph and post on facebook, pinterest and flickr then blog about how everyone loved it. Have a traditional part or full time job but you are also expected to attend all school functions, PTA meetings, help your kids sell cookies and organize car washes. You need to know how to make your own cleaning detergents, sew your families clothes, crochet, be on several school and church committees, go to retreats and maintain a great attitude. If you are a stay at home mom you better be home schooling your kids otherwise everyone will start wondering what do you do all day. Just had a baby? Assuming it was a natural birth you will definitely be preached about nursing your child... "I don't think she's going to breastfeed tesk tesk tesk". You decided to have 1 or 2 kids and stop at that? "Come on, if you can handle 1 you can handle 2, if you can handle 2 you can handle 3. They will practically raise each other".Oh and you have to read the most recent best seller books otherwise what are you going to talk about with your friends at the monthly dinners that you help organize?

Some women can do all this and are great at it. I say if you are one of these women Go for the gold. Unfortunately the majority of us are left feeling subpar and unable to catch up in a society that judges and documents every sneeze and every toot.  This super mom/woman syndrome is creating unrealistic expectations that are being imposed by women who think they can do it all. Perfectionism can never win over the happiness and fulfillment one feels by simply being a woman, a wife or a mom.

So here's my 2 cents. I like watching TV and having my down time. I will be adopting a child so if we end up with an infant and some random woman tries to educate me on how breastfeeding is so beneficial i will nicely tell her she can keep her opinion to herself. I cook often but i'm not on any mission to break my back to have a home cooked meal every night. My husband and i work full time and no i will not quit my job when we have a kid. I don't need to be perfect, i just want to be myself.

It is important to find a balance.

Stay healthy. Be Happy.

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